Shattered Worlds: Shattered and Rebuilt

I finally had my short story critiqued by someone who knows how to write novels, and well… He said I have a good story and did my conversational text well, but my story was doing a lot of TELL and not SHOW in many places. I knew about this concept but somehow I was blind to it until Drew went through it with me and showed me where I was doing it and how I could make it better. Now it seems so obvious to me. I am surprised how I didn’t realize it before.

So this week I did some major revisions to “Shattered Worlds”. I added a lot more character dialog to replace the boring telling I had let creep into the text. I added more physical description of character actions SHOWING what they were feeling and pulled out the plopping down of overt motivations and emotions which I was just TELLING the reader.

I am sure it is not done yet, but I am feeling a lot better about it now, and I think this short advice that Drew gave me really brought some new life to my story. Really appreciate your “brutal review” @drewwagar.